Jan, 2016

How to Manage Being Double-Minded

By: | Tags: | Comments: 3

The reason you have second thoughts is because you have two brains—a left and a right brain. You “hear” thoughts bouncing around in both brains. These thoughts are usually juxtaposed. Your right brain, the more emotional of the two, is easily exceeded. It frolics in the light of something new. While your right brain is off in Never Never Land, your left brain fires back with, “Yeah, but seriously, you know Never Never Land doesn’t really exist, right?”

Your L-brain is where you store your core beliefs. The logic of your L-brain reminds you of the way things have always been. It believes the way things have been is the way they will likely remain. This is often that on second thought, you hear in your head, unless you’re R-brain-dominant, in which case, you won’t have a second thought! Your L-brain is stubborn for a reason—safety.

Your R-brain loves the feeling of trying new things, but your L-brain will wait. It takes your L-brain about twenty-one days to get convinced that the change is the new normal. Here’s the rub—often, your R-brain isn’t as persistent as your L-brain (remember, RB likes change). If your R-brain gets bored and stops the new stuff, your L-brain says, “That’s what I thought.” This makes it harder for you to make that new thang stick the next time. However, there is a way to satisfy both brains.

Heres a conversation tool for your left and right brains:

Right Brain Left Brain (Yes, I wrote left on the right side!)
Name what’s new. Name the reason for the change in behavior.
What’s good about the new? What’s the worst that can happen, if the new sticks?
When do we start? How will we know the new is working?
Who can we tell? Who can help?
What if I get bored? What milestones help with inspiration?
Can I celebrate now? Yes, as long as you stay focused!

By feeding both brains the nutrient (information) they prefer, second thoughts won’t turn into third and fourth thoughts, which turn into—never mind. Second thoughts are not bad, as long as it doesn’t lead to you being wishy-washy. Change can and does happen. The change you want is more likely to manifest when you enthusiastically and strategically plan your progress.


3 thoughts on “How to Manage Being Double-Minded

  1. Ramona Jordan

    I came to your How to Manage Being Double-Minded | Life Coaching page and then connected with you through one of your masterminds, and I’m the better for it! Darin, you and your team are difference makers. I hope you all continue to create a space for the voice that needs to be heard. I look forward to attending another mastermind by DSI!!


  2. Josh crane

    Thanks for this! Being double-minded is much more clear now. It helps readers to understand that being double-minded is not simply being indecisive, there is a mechanism in play, it’s a mechanism that can changed. Thank you, Darin!


Leave a Reply