Yet again, I have experienced some difficulties physically. As some of you know, a few years ago I was struck with blindness. While I have overcome the majority of that ailment, a new condition has set upon me. This new condition has caused some paralysis on my left side. I can’t begin to explain the frustration, and despair that causes me and my family emotionally.
As Christian believers, we are given to the idea of hope. But the very human side of me is reminded of a statement made by Dr. Martin Luther King, “Justice too long delayed is justice denied.” In my case, is healing, too long delayed, mean healing is denied? There are days that hope is easier than others. The days that hope is fleeting are the days when it’s hard for me to pick up my little girl. Faith is challenging when I cannot hold a glass of water in my left hand without spilling it. Along with the paralysis, I have very painful muscle spasms that last for long periods of time in my left arm. And yet again, I find myself asking that same old question, “God, why me?”
You see, I believe it is okay to ask God, “Why?” I believe that God wants to converse with us about life. In fact, God once said in Scripture, “Come, let us reason together.” That statement alone, means to me that there is a reason. Is the reason a setback or is setup? Considering reason, a setback would not advance the calling of God, and purpose of my life. So then, I must be left with the latter – a setup. But, is this just wishful thinking? Am I just physically sick, and therefore must deal with the slow decay of the human body? Shell I sit here and just wait?
If this is a setback then I will just sit back and wait until the finale. If this is a setup, then I must get up and move forward to fulfill my destiny. What about the paralysis? What about the pain? They must therefore be symptoms of the setup. For example, if I fall, the fall can be a setup in order to get up. If I am sick, the sickness must then be a setup for healing and wholeness. But, again, is this just mumbo-jumbo in my head? Am I just trying to make myself feel better about my human condition? The only way to know is to employ, and actualize the information that I know. It says in the Scriptures, “Prove me and know that I am God.”
So then, what’s next for me is to prove God…